Struggling with the Finish Line? Here's Why You Don't See Progress

Let's get straight to the point. The most commonly seen behaviour noticed in society that stops us from living the life we want is ‘Not Being Selfish Enough.’ This might sound strange, but it doesn't mean being rude or only caring about yourself. It means not making yourself a priority and not taking enough care of your own needs.

Many people always put others first. They help friends, take on extra work, even when they are preoccupied or have tasks piled up. They feel bad or hesitant in saying ‘NO’. But when you constantly give and don't make time for yourself, you get drained. Think of it like a phone battery - if you keep using it without charging, it will switch off. You can't always help others. You will be left with no energy to work on yours.

This habit leads to feeling tired, unhappy over time. You might even start to feel a bit annoyed with people you are trying to help, stemming from your own helplessness.

To fix this, first identify and set clear rules for yourself. Figure out what you need to do for your own well-being first. This could be getting a certain amount of sleep, exercising, having quiet time, or working on a hobby. These are your non-negotiable ‘must-haves.’

Next, learn to say ‘NO’ nicely when someone asks you to do something that would take away from your ‘must-haves.’ It's okay to protect your time and energy. You should also think about requests before saying ‘YES’.

People might term you ‘Selfish’, but who passed this universal judgement that the word ‘selfish’ is something necessarily bad in the first place?

The idea is to only help others when you have extra energy and time, after having taken care of your own needs and goals, not when you're already running on empty fuel. When you take good care of yourself first, you'll have more to give to others and more energy to reach your own goals. Being "selfish enough" actually makes you more useful and productive in the long run.

I highly recommend the book ‘Essentialism’ by Greg McKeown. This book breathes and benchmarks ‘NO’ as being critical for our growth.

Always remember you need to put your own oxygen mask on first, before attempting to help those around you.